it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
