I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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