Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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