some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
