I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
