Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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