I cut my penus on the lid.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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