i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Only a mothe r could love this liver
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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