ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
