She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
