is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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