I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
