Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
