been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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