Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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