Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
