Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
love makes seman taste better
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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