The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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