Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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