Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize