I hope mine doesn't look like that
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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