No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
