do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Duck Duck Cougar?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
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he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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