in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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