I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
