You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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