bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
