Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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