grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
