I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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