You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
