happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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