so explain again why im purple
no
I faked an abortion last night.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
