My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
