And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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