apparently the secret to your success is patron
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
