Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
