dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
