At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
