I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just want nice things and good sex
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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