Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
