my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
