I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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