I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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