I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
