WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And then my night got REAL pukey
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
