Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
