Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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