Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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