A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
