Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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