Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
worst night to have a conscience
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
