I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
