I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
