I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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