We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As shirtless as possible
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
