I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
