I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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