it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its about making memories worth repressing
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
