Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
