Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
